bluntchisel
Registered
A duck walks in a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich.
The barman looks at him and says,
"Errr...hang on a minute, you're a duck!"
"I see your eyes are working OK," replies the duck.
"But you can talk!" exclaims the barman.
"I see your ears are good, too," says the duck. "Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"
"Certainly, sir, sorry about my manners," says the barman, pulling the duck's pint. "It's just we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?"
"I'm working on the building site across the road," explains the duck. "I'm a plasterer."
The flabbergasted barman cannot believe what he's hearing and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it. Eventually the duck finishes the paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves. The same thing happens for the next two weeks.
Then a circus comes to town. The ringmaster enters the pub for a pint, and the barman says to him,
"You're with the circus, right? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant for you. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads newspapers and does just about everything else!"
"Hmm, sounds interesting," says the ringmaster, handing over his business card. "Ask him to give me a call."
So, next day when the duck comes into the pub, the barman says, "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job that pays really good money."
"I'm always looking for more work," says the duck. "Where is it?"
"At the circus," says the barman.
"The circus?"
"That's right," replies the barman.
"The circus?" the duck asks again. "What, with the big tent, and everything?"
"Yeah," the barman replies.
"And with all the animals that live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?" says the duck.
"Of course," the barman replies.
"And the tent has tall canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?" persists the duck.
"That's right!" says the barman.
The duck shakes his head in total confusion and says,
"Now that's strange", he says to the barman.
"WHAT WOULD A CIRCUS BE WANTING WITH A FECKING PLASTERER???"
The barman looks at him and says,
"Errr...hang on a minute, you're a duck!"
"I see your eyes are working OK," replies the duck.
"But you can talk!" exclaims the barman.
"I see your ears are good, too," says the duck. "Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"
"Certainly, sir, sorry about my manners," says the barman, pulling the duck's pint. "It's just we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?"
"I'm working on the building site across the road," explains the duck. "I'm a plasterer."
The flabbergasted barman cannot believe what he's hearing and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it. Eventually the duck finishes the paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves. The same thing happens for the next two weeks.
Then a circus comes to town. The ringmaster enters the pub for a pint, and the barman says to him,
"You're with the circus, right? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant for you. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads newspapers and does just about everything else!"
"Hmm, sounds interesting," says the ringmaster, handing over his business card. "Ask him to give me a call."
So, next day when the duck comes into the pub, the barman says, "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job that pays really good money."
"I'm always looking for more work," says the duck. "Where is it?"
"At the circus," says the barman.
"The circus?"
"That's right," replies the barman.
"The circus?" the duck asks again. "What, with the big tent, and everything?"
"Yeah," the barman replies.
"And with all the animals that live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?" says the duck.
"Of course," the barman replies.
"And the tent has tall canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?" persists the duck.
"That's right!" says the barman.
The duck shakes his head in total confusion and says,
"Now that's strange", he says to the barman.
"WHAT WOULD A CIRCUS BE WANTING WITH A FECKING PLASTERER???"
