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It`s no wonder I can`t sleep

Doug

Loquacious
Executive Member
Joined
Aug 25, 2013
Posts
6,662
Location
In the wood shop
First Name
Take a guess
With all these unanswered question floating in my head.......

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?


Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?


Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway...

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's
face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Why, Why, Why
do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four
billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles
for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that sofas
are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a thread a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the
vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead insects get into those enclosed light
fixtures?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends... if they're okay, then it's you.



:lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:
 

paulm

grave manibus faciendum
Registered
Joined
Oct 7, 2013
Posts
12,046
Location
Sandford
First Name
Paul
I've not seen it before... and its scarily true... all of them except for the vacuuming one which I know nothing about. :whistling::whistling:
 

paulm

grave manibus faciendum
Registered
Joined
Oct 7, 2013
Posts
12,046
Location
Sandford
First Name
Paul
And a question that has never been answered. Why is there only one monopolies board?
 

Penpal

Grand Master
Joined
May 26, 2013
Posts
25,342
Location
Canberra AUSTRALIA
First Name
Peter
Loved that Doug explains so much now to turn off my underground bore I just remembered is still turned on.

Kind regards Peter.:thumbs:
 

edlea

Lobbygobbler
Registered
Joined
Aug 1, 2013
Posts
4,693
Location
Blackpool
First Name
Ed
Fine if you pasted and copied Doug ...but if you typed all that lot then you've got to much time on your hands ..go and make some pens !!!:funny::funny::funny:
 
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