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What does.....

wm460

Grand Master
Joined
Mar 16, 2013
Posts
23,095
Location
Tennant Creek, Northern Territory, Australia.
First Name
Mark
His Lordship was in the study at Downton Abbey when the butler approached and coughed discreetly.

"May I ask you a question, my Lord?"

"Go ahead, Carson." said his Lordship.

"I am doing the crossword in The Times and I have found a word I am not too clear on."

"What word is that?" said his Lordship.

"Aplomb, my Lord."

"Now that's a difficult one to explain. I would say it is self assurance or complete composure."

"Thank you my Lord, but I'm still a little confused."

"Let me give you an example to make it clearer. Do you remember a few months ago the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge arrived to spend a weekend with us?"

"I remember the occasion very well, my Lord. It gave the staff and myself much pleasure to look after them."

"Also," continued the Earl of Grantham, "do you remember Will plucked a rose for Kate in the rose garden?"

"I was present on that occasion, my Lord, ministering to their needs."

"While plucking the rose a thorn embedded itself in his thumb very deeply."

Carson replied, "I witnessed the incident my Lord and saw the Duchess herself remove the thorn and bandage his thumb with her own dainty handkerchief."

"That evening the prick on his thumb was so sore, Kate had to cut up his venison from our own estate even though it was extremely tender."

"Yes my Lord, I did see everything that transpired that evening."

"The next morning while you were pouring coffee for Her Ladyship, Kate enquired of Will with a loud voice, 'Darling does your prick still throb?'

"You, Carson, did not spill one drop of coffee?

"That... is aplomb!"
 

clumsysod

GOBBY GIT
Graduate Member
Joined
Apr 7, 2013
Posts
687
Location
Grantham
A businessman is getting on a flight when he hears from another passenger
> that the Pope is going to be on the flight.
>
> "WOW, great!" he thinks, being a devout Christian, "What a great place to be
> today."
>
> Just before the aircraft doors are closed, the Pope enters the plane, and to
> the guy's delight, sits next to him. I am surely blessed the man thinks.
> Here I am, a good Catholic on a flight, with the Pope sitting next to me.
> The plane takes off and after a few minutes the passengers take off their
> seat belts. The man looks sideways and sees the Pope reaching into his bag
> to take out a crossword book. Marvellous, he thinks, not only am I blessed
> with the Pope next to me but he does crosswords and so do I.
>
> He notices that the Pope is working his way through the puzzle, and that His
> Holiness is tapping his pencil, thinking. After a little while of pencil
> tapping, the Pope turns to him and says, "I usually don't talk to anyone on
> flights, but I wonder if you can help me?"
>
> "Anything Your Holiness.. What is it?"
>
> "Do you know a four letter word that ends in 'u-n-t' that means something
> associated with women?"
>
> The man feels uncomfortable. He thinks and thinks. Finally he says, "The
> only word I can think of is aunt."
>
> The Pope looks at him and asks, "Do you have an eraser?
 

wm460

Grand Master
Joined
Mar 16, 2013
Posts
23,095
Location
Tennant Creek, Northern Territory, Australia.
First Name
Mark
A businessman is getting on a flight when he hears from another passenger
> that the Pope is going to be on the flight.
>
> "WOW, great!" he thinks, being a devout Christian, "What a great place to be
> today."
>
> Just before the aircraft doors are closed, the Pope enters the plane, and to
> the guy's delight, sits next to him. I am surely blessed the man thinks.
> Here I am, a good Catholic on a flight, with the Pope sitting next to me.
> The plane takes off and after a few minutes the passengers take off their
> seat belts. The man looks sideways and sees the Pope reaching into his bag
> to take out a crossword book. Marvellous, he thinks, not only am I blessed
> with the Pope next to me but he does crosswords and so do I.
>
> He notices that the Pope is working his way through the puzzle, and that His
> Holiness is tapping his pencil, thinking. After a little while of pencil
> tapping, the Pope turns to him and says, "I usually don't talk to anyone on
> flights, but I wonder if you can help me?"
>
> "Anything Your Holiness.. What is it?"
>
> "Do you know a four letter word that ends in 'u-n-t' that means something
> associated with women?"
>
> The man feels uncomfortable. He thinks and thinks. Finally he says, "The
> only word I can think of is aunt."
>
> The Pope looks at him and asks, "Do you have an eraser?

:funny::funny::funny:
 
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