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Drafting Guys Over 60.

Lons

Fellow
Joined
Dec 17, 2013
Posts
4,753
Location
Northumberland
First Name
Bob
New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!


I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists.
You can't be older than 42 to join the military.

They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys.
You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds.
Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a month, leaving us more than 280,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.'

We are bad-tempered and impatient, and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them.
In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Basic Training would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food.

We've also developed an appreciation for guns.
We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too.
I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him.
He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl.
He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those terrorists.
The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with bad attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.



Here's a thought.....:thinks:

How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!

You think MEN have attitudes? ....Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!!

If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!

.

Send this to all of your senior friends...it's in big type so they can read it.
 

paulm

grave manibus faciendum
Registered
Joined
Oct 7, 2013
Posts
12,046
Location
Sandford
First Name
Paul
ha ha that is very good, I love it. The most dangerous thing in the world is a menopausal woman with a gun and there is definitaly no negotiating. :funny::funny::funny::funny:
 

Bill Mooney

Blind old git
Grand Master
Joined
Aug 16, 2014
Posts
10,997
Location
County Durham
First Name
Bill
Right on the button Bob.:funny::funny::funny:
When our guys start bombing this weekend they want to drop pig shit bombs instead of high explosive as the enemy don't want to die if they are unclean as they can't go to paradise & claim their virgins so won't die martyrs to their cause.:whistling:
 

Buckeye

ペンメーカー
Executive Member
Joined
Oct 15, 2013
Posts
9,697
Location
UK
First Name
Peter
Right on the button Bob.:funny::funny::funny:
When our guys start bombing this weekend they want to drop pig shit bombs instead of high explosive as the enemy don't want to die if they are unclean as they can't go to paradise & claim their virgins so won't die martyrs to their cause.:whistling:

I think they should bury them with a pig on top and told that's what will happen to them.

Peter
 
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