• Thanks for visiting The Penturners Forum today.

    There are many features and resources that currently you are unable to see or access, either because you're not yet registered, or if you're already registered, because you're not logged in.

    To gain full access to the forum, please log in or register now. Registration is completely free, it only takes a few seconds, and you can join our well established community of like-minded pen makers.

Why men are happier

Bill Mooney

Blind old git
Grand Master
Joined
Aug 16, 2014
Posts
10,997
Location
County Durham
First Name
Bill
> > WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:
> >
> > Men Are Just Happier People --
> >
> > What do you expect from such simple creatures?
> >
> > Your last name stays put.
> >
> > The garage is all yours.
> >
> > Wedding plans take care of themselves.
> >
> > Chocolate is just another snack...
> >
> > You can never be pregnant.
> >
> > You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
> >
> > You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
> >
> > Car mechanics tell you the truth.
> >
> > The world is your urinal.
> >
> > You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one
> > is just too icky.
> >
> > You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
> >
> > Same work, more pay.
> >
> > Wrinkles add character.
> >
> > Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
> >
> > People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
> >
> > New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
> >
> > One mood all the time.
> >w
> > Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
> >w
> > You know stuff about tanks.
> >
> > A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
> >
> > You can open all your own jars.
> >
> > If someone forgets to invite you, He or she can still be your friend.
> >
> > Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
> >
> > Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
> >
> > Everything on your face stays its original color.
> >
> > The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
> >
> > You only have to shave your face and neck.
> >
> > You can play with toys all your life.
> >
> > One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
> >
> > You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
> >
> > You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
> >
> > You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
> >
> > You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25
> > minutes.
> > ___________________________________
> >
> > Men Are Just Happier People
> >
> > NICKNAMES
> >
> > If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other
> > Laura,
> > Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately
> > refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
> >
> > EATING OUT
> >
> > When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even
> > though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and
> > none will actually admit they want change back.
> >
> > When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators...YEP!!!
> >
> > MONEY
> >
> > A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
> >
> > A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on
> > sale.
> >
> > BATHROOMS
> >
> > A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving
> > cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
> >
> > The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man
> > would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
> >
> > ARGUMENTS
> >
> > A woman has the last word in any argument.
> >
> > Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
> >
> > FUTURE
> >
> > A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
> >
> > A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
> >
> > MARRIAGE
> >
> > A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
> >
> > A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
> >
> > DRESSING UP
> >
> > A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash,
> > answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
> >
> > A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
> >
> > NATURAL
> >
> > Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
> >
> > Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
> >
> > OFFSPRING
> >
> > Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
> > dentist
> > appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and
> > hopes and dreams.
> >
> > A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house

> > THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
> >
> > A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
> > remembering the same thing!
 

Grump

Grand Master
Joined
Aug 17, 2013
Posts
10,504
Location
Stevenage
First Name
Brian
Clearly written by some Yankee poof with a syrup init?

Three pairs of shoes, Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed, A man has six items in his bathroom:, A man will dress up for weddings and funerals., The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
 
Warning! This thread has not had any replies for over a year. You are welcome to post a reply here, but it might be better to start a new thread (and maybe include a link to this one if you need to).
Top