> > WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:
> >
> > Men Are Just Happier People --
> >
> > What do you expect from such simple creatures?
> >
> > Your last name stays put.
> >
> > The garage is all yours.
> >
> > Wedding plans take care of themselves.
> >
> > Chocolate is just another snack...
> >
> > You can never be pregnant.
> >
> > You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
> >
> > You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
> >
> > Car mechanics tell you the truth.
> >
> > The world is your urinal.
> >
> > You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one
> > is just too icky.
> >
> > You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
> >
> > Same work, more pay.
> >
> > Wrinkles add character.
> >
> > Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
> >
> > People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
> >
> > New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
> >
> > One mood all the time.
> >w
> > Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
> >w
> > You know stuff about tanks.
> >
> > A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
> >
> > You can open all your own jars.
> >
> > If someone forgets to invite you, He or she can still be your friend.
> >
> > Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
> >
> > Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
> >
> > Everything on your face stays its original color.
> >
> > The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
> >
> > You only have to shave your face and neck.
> >
> > You can play with toys all your life.
> >
> > One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
> >
> > You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
> >
> > You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
> >
> > You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
> >
> > You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25
> > minutes.
> > ___________________________________
> >
> > Men Are Just Happier People
> >
> > NICKNAMES
> >
> > If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other
> > Laura,
> > Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately
> > refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
> >
> > EATING OUT
> >
> > When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even
> > though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and
> > none will actually admit they want change back.
> >
> > When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators...YEP!!!
> >
> > MONEY
> >
> > A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
> >
> > A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on
> > sale.
> >
> > BATHROOMS
> >
> > A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving
> > cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
> >
> > The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man
> > would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
> >
> > ARGUMENTS
> >
> > A woman has the last word in any argument.
> >
> > Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
> >
> > FUTURE
> >
> > A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
> >
> > A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
> >
> > MARRIAGE
> >
> > A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
> >
> > A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
> >
> > DRESSING UP
> >
> > A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash,
> > answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
> >
> > A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
> >
> > NATURAL
> >
> > Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
> >
> > Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
> >
> > OFFSPRING
> >
> > Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
> > dentist
> > appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and
> > hopes and dreams.
> >
> > A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house
> > THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
> >
> > A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
> > remembering the same thing!
> >
> > Men Are Just Happier People --
> >
> > What do you expect from such simple creatures?
> >
> > Your last name stays put.
> >
> > The garage is all yours.
> >
> > Wedding plans take care of themselves.
> >
> > Chocolate is just another snack...
> >
> > You can never be pregnant.
> >
> > You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
> >
> > You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
> >
> > Car mechanics tell you the truth.
> >
> > The world is your urinal.
> >
> > You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one
> > is just too icky.
> >
> > You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
> >
> > Same work, more pay.
> >
> > Wrinkles add character.
> >
> > Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
> >
> > People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
> >
> > New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
> >
> > One mood all the time.
> >w
> > Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
> >w
> > You know stuff about tanks.
> >
> > A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
> >
> > You can open all your own jars.
> >
> > If someone forgets to invite you, He or she can still be your friend.
> >
> > Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
> >
> > Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
> >
> > Everything on your face stays its original color.
> >
> > The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
> >
> > You only have to shave your face and neck.
> >
> > You can play with toys all your life.
> >
> > One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
> >
> > You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
> >
> > You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
> >
> > You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
> >
> > You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25
> > minutes.
> > ___________________________________
> >
> > Men Are Just Happier People
> >
> > NICKNAMES
> >
> > If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other
> > Laura,
> > Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately
> > refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
> >
> > EATING OUT
> >
> > When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even
> > though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and
> > none will actually admit they want change back.
> >
> > When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators...YEP!!!
> >
> > MONEY
> >
> > A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
> >
> > A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on
> > sale.
> >
> > BATHROOMS
> >
> > A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving
> > cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
> >
> > The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man
> > would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
> >
> > ARGUMENTS
> >
> > A woman has the last word in any argument.
> >
> > Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
> >
> > FUTURE
> >
> > A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
> >
> > A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
> >
> > MARRIAGE
> >
> > A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
> >
> > A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
> >
> > DRESSING UP
> >
> > A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash,
> > answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
> >
> > A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
> >
> > NATURAL
> >
> > Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
> >
> > Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
> >
> > OFFSPRING
> >
> > Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
> > dentist
> > appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and
> > hopes and dreams.
> >
> > A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house
> > THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
> >
> > A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
> > remembering the same thing!